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Archive for March, 2005

Bandaged finger

Tuesday, March 8th, 2005

Responses to , “Dude, what happened to your finger?” A) I was down fishin’ for catfish in the dirty crek, usin some big ole wigglers I find under an old log. I felt a tug on my line, thinkin that I’d caught me a big ole fish. I started a thinkin bout the grins my friends would have when i’d serve em up this fish fried with some onions, and ice cold sweet tea to drink. I fought this damned fish, like I was the Good Lord in a tangle with Lucifer. No giant, fish-beast was gonna make me to be no fool. I pulled up the line, where there was no darn fish, just a danglin’ mud turtle. Damn thing nearly bit my finger off like some crazy beaver bitin’ a tree branch. B) I heard that all the hipsters hanging out in Williamsburg were dressing as mummies. In an attempt to stay at the cusp of what is cool, I decided to transform myself into a mummy. I would bring this trend to Tempe, where I would drink expensive scotch at Casey Moore’s while bandaged from head to toe. All the hipsters would at first scoff at me, only to return the next week wearing the same mummy garb. I started thinking about the heatlamps at Casey’s and the real fire danger they present. The thought of screaming, mummified hipsters running around while on fire was too much for me to bear. I decided after wrapping one finger that I would not introduce this fashion trend to Tempe. C) Umm dude, So i cut my finger with a box cutter. It didn’t hurt. I probably needed stiches but I didn’t go to the hospital, I just went to Walgreen’s and bought some medical supplies…oh hey do you want to hear my new song I have down on the Casio? I can still play it… hold on. Boop-Boop, beep beep…