Navigate/Search

Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

The ship is taking on water, but we will steam ahead

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

This blog is not dead…but is going to being undergoing some changes.

The Cats in my Neighborhood are Fucking Jerks

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

The cats in my neighborhood hate me. They don’t respond to loud shrill whistling. They stare back blankly when I call out “Here Kitty Kitty”, in a British or French accent. Even when I quit horsing around with them they just stare at my with their little angry eyes communicating a sentiment of “Fuck you”.

I thought that these cats hated everybody, with their running off and scurrying under bushes when anyone would get close to them.

The other morning I woke up at 6 am to ride the light rail to work. I saw an old man with a wool cap on. He had a bag of cat food and was being trailed by six cats. They were rubbing against him and being frisky. Little does this old man know that he is just being used for food.

The world we live in…

The Dead Cat

Friday, February 8th, 2008

Walking out to my car in the morning I noticed that the cat was clearly dead, it was not just taking a gravel nap. It was laying motionless near a pool of water left over from the recent rains that had fallen. Maybe the cat lapped at the muddy pool and succumbed to whatever toxins had leached out of the soil.

I was a little bit concerned about how the cat died, like maybe I had been responsible and had hit it without notice.

I began an investigation into the cat’s death. I will admit that there are many other things that I should do with my time besides figuring out how a cat died, but I had to clear myself of any wrongdoing.

Through my close inspection of the animal I determined that yes, the cat had been run over, as evident by the bruised indentation on the animals hind quarters. I found that there were faint tire tracks that led to a neighbor’ss space, and clearly one of the tires had squished the poor kitty.

I felt better in knowing that I was not the cat killer.

A day passed and the dead cat was still there.

Another day passed and it still laid in the spot that it had been struck down.

Clearly, the person responsible for sending this cat to the great beyond should have disposed of its carcass.

Yet another day passed, I had stopped parking in my covered spot as to avoid the dead cat.

I thought about disposing of the cat, but walking the distance from the back of my apartment with a dead cat stiff in a shovel is not something I wanted to do and I felt that any neighbor seeing this would presume that I was the culprit.

Finally the cat disappeared and I resumed parking in my regular spot – until I noticed that the cat did not disappear, but was now up against a chain link fence. Perhaps some miracle, or voodoo had made the cat ambulatory.

Or maybe my lazy cat, killing neighbor just kicked it out of the way.

Eventually I contacted my landlord who helped escort the dead cat into the afterlife.

I have my eye on that neighbor guy…I just hope he doesn’t “accidently” strike me with his car.